Problems With Modern Day Dating

It just so happens that our generation has been gifted with the divine ability to search endlessly amongst the many faces that scatter the internet also looking for love. Internet dating is a narcissistic device which reinforces the idea that looks mean everything – we are able to, literally, select YES or NO to people we do or don’t find attractive, enabling us to find ‘matches’. Though it seems to diminish the amount of effort to be made, it multiplies the difficulties involved with finding the ‘one’.

Both a blessing and a curse is the forever rising popularity of the selfie. Assuming that the procedure of finding an attractive mate is most important before actually meeting someone, one would come to the conclusion that these Instagram selfies are diamonds amongst stones. Alas, no. Even I, admittedly, look ten times better when a flattering camera filter is applied to my face, plastering perfectly clear skin and a golden tan onto my face, as opposed to the real life situation of blemishes, bad hair and Tesco carrier bags under my eyes. We may think we’ve stumbled upon a possible partner with the appearance of a Greek god, but we are unfortunately involved in a car-crash realization that they actually look like Mr Bean.

Bad dates don’t just end when the date ends. Trying to shake off Mr Bean from your dating platter is probably within the realm of rocket sciences. People often don’t get ‘the picture’ due to the ‘like’ system installed on literally every website you visit. One accidental like on their status and you’re back to square one and Mr Bean thinks you’re in love with him and want to father 5 children for your new home together in the country.

However, on the rare occasion that you stumble upon the precipice of something wonderful – in the form of a successful first date – you now have to deal with who admits to enjoying the other’s company first without appearing too desperate. The problem with most people is that we crave attention but not the obsessive compulsive kind. A simple 60% of your affections during the early days will do, because apparently anything above that is gross and stalkery. And if you’re unlucky enough to be cursed with the affliction of over-texting your love interest, you could always wear the TEMKEK crown. Right? Surely? No.

If you haven’t heard of the existentially damning experience of TEMKEK, you’re probably lucky.  Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen. This has gotten to a point for me, personally, where I avoid texting people until I’ve ignored them for over 4 years and they don’t remember who I am. TEMKEK is supposed to be a certain way of gaining your lover’s attention by making them crave yours, however the reality is that you end up as lonely as you were to begin with. Too many games are involved in the dating world as present without the addition of another death trap…

But, imagine a scenario where even TEMKEK has succeeded in creating a stable environment for your love to blossom, and date number 2, 3 or even 4 arrives and you’re seeing something serious come out of it. Of course this seems too good to be true. Because it is. Possible boyfriend/girlfriend  unlocks phone in front of you and you lay your eyes upon the presence of Grindr/Hot or Not/Tinder in their recent apps. Sigh. Bye.

Though a very cynical view of the dating world, I find these are the main cons of the battlefield. And they’re shit.


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